Raising Kids to Use Technology Wisely

It seems that we are definitely living in the age of technology. Nearly every single person in the United States has taken a trip down the information highway at some point or another in their lives.

The truth of the matter is that more than eighty percent of the homes in the U.S. have at least one computer however; more than half of those homes have more than two computers. If you include cell phones, iPads and other such technologies, nearly ninety-eight percent of the population has some form of access to the internet. These numbers are absolutely astounding and prove that this is the age of technology.

Children and Technology

Children are exposed to technology every day. You'd have to be raising kids in a cave or under a rock to keep them from being exposed to it. Even the Amish people in Pennsylvania, Ohio and other parts of the country have cell phones nowadays. Of course, they don't use them quite as much as the rest of the world does but they still do have them.

It is important that everyone raising children allows them to embrace the wonderful world of technology. From the time your child is three years old, you should be sitting with him and teaching him how to use the mouse to make things happen. This time will also help you to build stronger child parent relationships while educating your child.

There are some great computer games geared for children of all ages. Preschool kids usually love interactive Dora the Explorer games or the Little Bear clickable storybooks. Children in elementary school might like the Webkinz online games or Legoland CDs. So long as you are raising kids to be computer savvy and work together to create strong child parent relationships, your child will fare well in school and as an adult.

Teach Them to Be Safe

The internet can be a really scary place so you must be inspiring children to be safe while they are using any forms of technology. Talk to your children and discuss ways that they can stay safe online. Explain the basics such as never use their real name, don't tell people where you live and never give out your phone number, school's name and other important and identifying information.

It is essential that you are raising children who are comfortable with telling you if someone is saying "bad" things to them online. This is a no-brainer for those with very close child parent relationships but oftentimes, working parents aren't as accessible to their children as they would like to be.

Be sure to take the time to listen to your children. This is especially important if they are trying to tell you about things that have been going on while using technology. Listening and advising them will help build better child parent relationships and help to keep your children safe.

Careful Cell Phone Use

It's amazing that so many young children have cell phones of their own. Many working parents who are parenting children that must walk home from school alone do this out of necessity. There are others that provide their kids with cell phones simply because all of the other kids in their classes have them. With close child parent relationships, your child should understand that he needn't have his own phone until he is older.

Young children really don't need to have full access to cell phones. There are phones available out there that offer limited access for kids. The parent can program a handful of phone numbers into it and they are the only numbers that can be dialed or even call the child's phone.

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Keep It Off Facebook!

Facebook, email, texts, and recorded voice mails are loaded material. Once they are out, you cannot take them back. If you don't want any of it used against you, don't publish it!

It's also rude and bad etiquette to disrespect an ex-partner on social media. You will regret it, either when you cool down or when you face up to it in a legal skirmish.

Plus? It can be part of the discovery process! As Richard Adams warns in "Facebook a top cause of relationship trouble, say US lawyers".

"Even though the rate of divorce in the US has remained largely stable in recent years, American divorce lawyers and academics [are] picking out Facebook as a leading cause of relationship trouble, with American lawyers now demanding to see their clients' Facebook pages as a matter of course before the start of proceedings.

"... One spouse connects online with someone they knew from school. The person is emotionally available and they start communicating through Facebook," said Dr. Steven Kimmons, a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor at Loyola University Medical Centre near Chicago... A 2010 survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) found that four out of five lawyer of five lawyers reported an increasing number of divorce cases citing evidence derived from social networking sites in the past five years, with Facebook being the market leader...

Photographs harvested from social networking sites... are a particularly rich source of damning evidence, according to divorce lawyers."

Both my husband and I have blocked his OP from our Facebook profiles and adjusted our privacy settings. We haven't done the same for my OP because we are all friends. We are kind to one another online, share funny stories, and are "friends" with each other's parents. You have to be absolutely sure you can stay on the high road or lock down all your privacy settings. I am SO not kidding.

It gets scarier. Get a load of this article by Leanne Italie from MSNBC: "Facebook is divorce lawyers' new best friend." WHAT? Argh! Forgot to de-friend your wife on Facebook while posting vacation shots of your mistress?

Her divorce lawyer will be thrilled.

Oversharing on social networks has led to an overabundance of evidence in divorce cases. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81 percent of its members have used or faced evidence plucked from Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other social networking sites, including YouTube and LinkedIn, over the last five years...

• Husband goes on Match.com and declares his single, childless status while seeking primary custody of said nonexistent children.

• Husband denies anger management issues but posts on Facebook in his "write something about yourself" section: "If you have the balls to get in my face, I'll kick your ass into submission."

• Father seeks custody of the kids, claiming (among other things) that his ex-wife never attends the events of their young ones. Subpoenaed evidence from the gaming site World of Warcraft tracks her there with her boyfriend at the precise time she was supposed to be out with the children. Mom loves Facebook's Farmville, too, at all the wrong times.

• Mom denies in court that she smokes marijuana but posts partying, pot-smoking photos of herself on Facebook.

"... You're finding information that you just never get in the normal discovery process-ever," Leslie Matthews said. "People are just blabbing things all over Facebook. People don't yet quite connect what they're saying in their divorce cases is completely different from what they're saying on Facebook. It doesn't even occur to them that they'd be found out... "

If you aren't scared straight by now, you aren't paying close enough attention.

© 2012 Melinda Roberts

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Tips to Build Your Child's Problem Solving Skills

There is a palette of skills that every child has to learn and build upon before he/she is ready to face the complexities of life outside the familiar and safe home environment. Be it social skills, negotiation skills, leadership skills or problem solving skills, parents can positively reinforce patterns of behavior and encourage their children to effectively deal with problems when they occur.

A child who has good problem solving skills will also have a strong will, because solving a difficult task implies persevering until a solution is found, and enough confidence to tackle yet harder and harder issues without being afraid. Without a doubt, children can benefit from developing adequate problem solving skills, and not just short-term, especially because it helps them feel in control, capable, and it boosts their self-esteem. Alongside, imagination and creativity, as cognitive processes related to problem solving, are equally stimulated.

Some of the best tips to get your child to work on those problem solving skills imply that you have the time, patience and desire to get involved in the process beginning with your child's yearly childhood:

· First of all you have to stimulate your child's curiosity. Show him/her how many different kinds of trees there are in the park or how gravity works. Then let the child explore his/her environment freely and encourage touching and feeling the texture of objects around him/her. When he/she gets bored you can propose other ways for them to experience those objects by weighting or measuring them, by imagining what they could be used for and so on.

· The next step is to encourage self-expression. Remember that children see the world from a totally different perspective than adults do. For them everything is novelty and asking questions is their way of getting a grasp of the immense complexity surrounding them. To this extent, never let a question unanswered and strive to explain in words that your child can understand what he/she asks.

· For the third step you need to encourage your child's independent thought and action. For example, if your child breaks a toy ask him/her how the toy could be mended and let him/her do it, or create hypothetical situations which involve finding a solution to a problem and ask the child how he/she would solve them. Always reward the child's efforts and abstain from trying to help with finding the right answer.

· The last stage is follow-up. Make sure that your child receives an everyday task that he/she needs to attend to and which involves using his/her problem solving skills. It can easily be a puzzle game, filling the missing words in a text, writing a song, repairing a broken object or finding the shortest route home.

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How to Boost Children's Self Confidence

When parents boost a child's confidence they are sending a positive message to him/her that can follow them for the rest of their lives. How parents treat their children at the early ages will determine their confidence level in the later years. Parents who boost their children self-belief are providing them with the tools to be successful in the world.

Children self-confidence is based largely on the way they are treated by the people who are important to them. Parents who response to the needs of their children are building the foundation and trust that builds their self worth. Children will grow up knowing someone in the world really cares about them.

Children will encounter numerous of negative people who will try and take away their self- worth, but parents should continue to boost their children's confidence. Parents should continuously hub and kiss their children to reassure them how special they are. When children have problems at school or with peers, parents should be sensitive to their concerns, and try and give them a positive solution to their problem. Parents shouldn't always agree with their children, but they should always listen to their concerns

As children grow up parents need to continue to show the same loving and kindness throughout their early years. Children are very receptive of the way they are treated, and if parents stop showing love and concern for their children, it could have a negative affect on the confidence of that child. Children will go through many challenges and changes while growing up, but if they have the support and love of their parents the journey will be easier and they will have confidence to make the right decisions in life.

Sometimes parents have busy schedules and don't have time for their children. Those parents should realize that every missed opportunity with their children could negatively impact their development. Parents need to understand that their children need time with them to have fun and build a strong bond that can never be broken. This can only happen if parents spend quality time with their children. Children know when parent are only pretending to have fun with them, so don't fake time with children.

While watching children grow up parents should take time to observe what academic area seems to be important to them. If the child seems to love playing games with numbers, the parent might want to put the child into activities with math involved. Once the child begins to improve their math skill and have fun at the same time, confidence will improve. Children like to be good at something (so do adults). As the child develops interest in other academic areas the parents should horn in on those interest by putting them into activities that support that interest. The better they become in those areas the more confident they become.

Sometimes parents forget that children are people with opinions and concerns like other people. Children need to be respected just as if they were young adults. When children are giving their opinion about something the parent should listen attentively just as they were an adult. This gives the child the sense that you are truly concerned about what they are saying. This will make the child believe what he says is important and his parents really do care. Once again confidence is being built.

The words a parents utilizes when talking to their children are also very important. Parents should try to be encouraging and positive when talking with children, and never use put downs when addressing children. One of the quickest ways for children to lose their confidence is for them to be constantly put down. Parents should always try to uplift their children. Parents should try to frame their words to be more positive such as: He is hyper, another way to say it might be, he is curious. He sure is stupid or you might say, he sure has an interesting personality. These little technique could make a big difference in a child's life.

Parents should always take the lead when it comes to picking who their children's let into their circle of friendship. Peer pressure is so important that parents should get to know the children who play with their children and what kind of parents they have. Sometimes this may be unpopular with their children.

Another way to build children's confidence is to have them join a sports team, and if they develop to be a good athlete their confidence will automatically improve. Even if children don't develop into super stars, they will learn valuable lessons which will help them physically, mentally and most of all build confidence. All children enjoy being good at something, so if sports is their thing, parent need to be supportive.

Over-all, the parent who spends time with their children, play with them, show affection toward them, encourage them, put them in positive activities, listen to them and make them feel important, are working toward raising confident children who will excel at school. Parents who work at being a good parent will raise confident children.

Parental Alienation: Who's Best Interest?   What to Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied   November Is National Adoption Awareness Month   

What Parents Can Do to Stop Bullying

Bullying statics show that almost every child will encounter some type of bullying. Unfortunately no child is immune to this behavior. Children of all ages and race are being affected. As parents we may not have the power to prevent this behavior but we do have the power to stop it. Here are our top ten actions that parents can take to help stop bullying.

How to Stop Bullying:

Daily Talks. Unfortunately with everyone's busy schedules not enough time is spent talking with children. Research shows that adults are often the last to know when children are bullied or bully others. It is important to make the time to talk with your child daily. This can be done by asking them questions about what they are doing in school, who they are hanging out with, who they have lunch with, etc. If your child feels comfortable talking to you they will hopefully open up if they are being bullied or harassed.

Get Involved. It has been proven that most bullying happens when adults are not present. Unfortunately you can't watch over your child during school but you can get involved in social or after school activities.

Lead by Example. Children learn a great deal from their parent's behavior. Your child closely monitors your behavior and often follows your example. Next time you get angry while driving, at a sales clerk, don't blow your top. You have a chance to show your children effective communication techniques without yelling.

Know the Signs. Children that are being bullied are often embarrassed or ashamed and therefore don't tell anyone, especially parents.

Therefore, it is essential for parents to know to recognize possible signs of being bullied. The signs of bullying include but are not limited to depression, frequent loss of personal belongings, avoiding recess or school activities, and getting to school very late or very early.

Teach Your Children. Habits form at a very early age in children. Parents can help develop anti-bullying habits early in your children. Coach your children on what to do and what not to do. Children should be taught not to be physical with other children that includes, hitting, pushing or being mean to others. They should also be taught what to do when other kids are mean. This includes, teaching them to tell an adult, say "no", ignore and walk away.

Bullying Programs. As a parent it is important to know what your child's school is doing to prevent bullying. Do they have a bullying program in place? Research shows that schools that have an anti bullying policy in place that educate students If your child's school does not have effective bullying strategies and policies in place, talk to the principal and advocate for change.

Establish Your Own Rules. Parents can't just rely on the school to teach their children that bullying is not accepted. Parents need to send a clear message to their children that bullying is not right, tolerated and there are consequences. They also need to teach their children exactly what bullying is and why its not tolerated.

Cyber bullying. Parents and children may not fully be aware of cyber bullying. Cyber bullying is one of the newest forms of bullying due to today's technology. Cyberbullying includes sending mean, harassing or threatening messages via the Internet, instant message or texting. Cyber bullying can be crueler than school bullying because the bullying can take place 24/7. It is again important to educate your child on what cyber bullying is and to let an adult know if they are being bullied.

Parents may not be able to prevent bullying but by following these guidelines they may be able to stop it.

Parental Alienation: Who's Best Interest?   What to Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied   November Is National Adoption Awareness Month   

Parenting: Keep Your Kids Drug Free - Why And How

Ronald Reagan is one of my heroes. He not only had a good sense of humor but his wisdom was profound. He was one of the best leaders our country ever had. One saying that he had that I always remember was "trust but verify." That meant to believe what people tell you but always check it out to be sure.

There is little doubt to any impartial observer that parenting today has many more challenges than it did in the last generation with the Internet, drugs, sex all being exposed to kids even in grade school. As parents, especially when it comes to drugs, tough love or "trust but verify" is one way to go. Of course you want to believe your kids that they're not using drugs but, for their own good, you need to verify that they are not.

There's a lot at stake here. You cannot get a decent job without passing a drug test. Any job that has anything to do with children, for example teaching, requires a background check which almost always includes a test for drugs.

If a child has any aspirations of getting into the armed services for a career they need to be able to pass a drug test. Many insurance companies for life insurance, medical insurance or even car insurance require a drug test. Every doctor in the world wants to know if you've been using drugs.

There was even a situation recently where the federal government was considering making drug tests a prerequisite to getting unemployment insurance.

The fact of the matter is that being on drugs not only destroys your life from the inside out but it can destroy it from the outside too.

Doctors and hospitals use an FDA cleared test that can yield results in 5 minutes or less. It tests for marijuana, cocaine, black tar heroin, amphetamines and methamphetamines. It even tests for morphine and other opiates. It is used by corporations for pre-employment and corrections facilities to screen for drug use.

Major league baseball and professional football-even college-level athletics use this kind of test to determine the veracity of their players. No coach at any level wants their players on drugs.

As parents, part of your responsibility is to "trust but verify." Drug tests are the best way to do that. Do it for your kids; they may not see the big picture as you do.

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