Raising Kids to Use Technology Wisely

It seems that we are definitely living in the age of technology. Nearly every single person in the United States has taken a trip down the information highway at some point or another in their lives.

The truth of the matter is that more than eighty percent of the homes in the U.S. have at least one computer however; more than half of those homes have more than two computers. If you include cell phones, iPads and other such technologies, nearly ninety-eight percent of the population has some form of access to the internet. These numbers are absolutely astounding and prove that this is the age of technology.

Children and Technology

Children are exposed to technology every day. You'd have to be raising kids in a cave or under a rock to keep them from being exposed to it. Even the Amish people in Pennsylvania, Ohio and other parts of the country have cell phones nowadays. Of course, they don't use them quite as much as the rest of the world does but they still do have them.

It is important that everyone raising children allows them to embrace the wonderful world of technology. From the time your child is three years old, you should be sitting with him and teaching him how to use the mouse to make things happen. This time will also help you to build stronger child parent relationships while educating your child.

There are some great computer games geared for children of all ages. Preschool kids usually love interactive Dora the Explorer games or the Little Bear clickable storybooks. Children in elementary school might like the Webkinz online games or Legoland CDs. So long as you are raising kids to be computer savvy and work together to create strong child parent relationships, your child will fare well in school and as an adult.

Teach Them to Be Safe

The internet can be a really scary place so you must be inspiring children to be safe while they are using any forms of technology. Talk to your children and discuss ways that they can stay safe online. Explain the basics such as never use their real name, don't tell people where you live and never give out your phone number, school's name and other important and identifying information.

It is essential that you are raising children who are comfortable with telling you if someone is saying "bad" things to them online. This is a no-brainer for those with very close child parent relationships but oftentimes, working parents aren't as accessible to their children as they would like to be.

Be sure to take the time to listen to your children. This is especially important if they are trying to tell you about things that have been going on while using technology. Listening and advising them will help build better child parent relationships and help to keep your children safe.

Careful Cell Phone Use

It's amazing that so many young children have cell phones of their own. Many working parents who are parenting children that must walk home from school alone do this out of necessity. There are others that provide their kids with cell phones simply because all of the other kids in their classes have them. With close child parent relationships, your child should understand that he needn't have his own phone until he is older.

Young children really don't need to have full access to cell phones. There are phones available out there that offer limited access for kids. The parent can program a handful of phone numbers into it and they are the only numbers that can be dialed or even call the child's phone.

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Keep It Off Facebook!

Facebook, email, texts, and recorded voice mails are loaded material. Once they are out, you cannot take them back. If you don't want any of it used against you, don't publish it!

It's also rude and bad etiquette to disrespect an ex-partner on social media. You will regret it, either when you cool down or when you face up to it in a legal skirmish.

Plus? It can be part of the discovery process! As Richard Adams warns in "Facebook a top cause of relationship trouble, say US lawyers".

"Even though the rate of divorce in the US has remained largely stable in recent years, American divorce lawyers and academics [are] picking out Facebook as a leading cause of relationship trouble, with American lawyers now demanding to see their clients' Facebook pages as a matter of course before the start of proceedings.

"... One spouse connects online with someone they knew from school. The person is emotionally available and they start communicating through Facebook," said Dr. Steven Kimmons, a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor at Loyola University Medical Centre near Chicago... A 2010 survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) found that four out of five lawyer of five lawyers reported an increasing number of divorce cases citing evidence derived from social networking sites in the past five years, with Facebook being the market leader...

Photographs harvested from social networking sites... are a particularly rich source of damning evidence, according to divorce lawyers."

Both my husband and I have blocked his OP from our Facebook profiles and adjusted our privacy settings. We haven't done the same for my OP because we are all friends. We are kind to one another online, share funny stories, and are "friends" with each other's parents. You have to be absolutely sure you can stay on the high road or lock down all your privacy settings. I am SO not kidding.

It gets scarier. Get a load of this article by Leanne Italie from MSNBC: "Facebook is divorce lawyers' new best friend." WHAT? Argh! Forgot to de-friend your wife on Facebook while posting vacation shots of your mistress?

Her divorce lawyer will be thrilled.

Oversharing on social networks has led to an overabundance of evidence in divorce cases. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81 percent of its members have used or faced evidence plucked from Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other social networking sites, including YouTube and LinkedIn, over the last five years...

• Husband goes on Match.com and declares his single, childless status while seeking primary custody of said nonexistent children.

• Husband denies anger management issues but posts on Facebook in his "write something about yourself" section: "If you have the balls to get in my face, I'll kick your ass into submission."

• Father seeks custody of the kids, claiming (among other things) that his ex-wife never attends the events of their young ones. Subpoenaed evidence from the gaming site World of Warcraft tracks her there with her boyfriend at the precise time she was supposed to be out with the children. Mom loves Facebook's Farmville, too, at all the wrong times.

• Mom denies in court that she smokes marijuana but posts partying, pot-smoking photos of herself on Facebook.

"... You're finding information that you just never get in the normal discovery process-ever," Leslie Matthews said. "People are just blabbing things all over Facebook. People don't yet quite connect what they're saying in their divorce cases is completely different from what they're saying on Facebook. It doesn't even occur to them that they'd be found out... "

If you aren't scared straight by now, you aren't paying close enough attention.

© 2012 Melinda Roberts

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Tips to Build Your Child's Problem Solving Skills

There is a palette of skills that every child has to learn and build upon before he/she is ready to face the complexities of life outside the familiar and safe home environment. Be it social skills, negotiation skills, leadership skills or problem solving skills, parents can positively reinforce patterns of behavior and encourage their children to effectively deal with problems when they occur.

A child who has good problem solving skills will also have a strong will, because solving a difficult task implies persevering until a solution is found, and enough confidence to tackle yet harder and harder issues without being afraid. Without a doubt, children can benefit from developing adequate problem solving skills, and not just short-term, especially because it helps them feel in control, capable, and it boosts their self-esteem. Alongside, imagination and creativity, as cognitive processes related to problem solving, are equally stimulated.

Some of the best tips to get your child to work on those problem solving skills imply that you have the time, patience and desire to get involved in the process beginning with your child's yearly childhood:

· First of all you have to stimulate your child's curiosity. Show him/her how many different kinds of trees there are in the park or how gravity works. Then let the child explore his/her environment freely and encourage touching and feeling the texture of objects around him/her. When he/she gets bored you can propose other ways for them to experience those objects by weighting or measuring them, by imagining what they could be used for and so on.

· The next step is to encourage self-expression. Remember that children see the world from a totally different perspective than adults do. For them everything is novelty and asking questions is their way of getting a grasp of the immense complexity surrounding them. To this extent, never let a question unanswered and strive to explain in words that your child can understand what he/she asks.

· For the third step you need to encourage your child's independent thought and action. For example, if your child breaks a toy ask him/her how the toy could be mended and let him/her do it, or create hypothetical situations which involve finding a solution to a problem and ask the child how he/she would solve them. Always reward the child's efforts and abstain from trying to help with finding the right answer.

· The last stage is follow-up. Make sure that your child receives an everyday task that he/she needs to attend to and which involves using his/her problem solving skills. It can easily be a puzzle game, filling the missing words in a text, writing a song, repairing a broken object or finding the shortest route home.

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How to Boost Children's Self Confidence

When parents boost a child's confidence they are sending a positive message to him/her that can follow them for the rest of their lives. How parents treat their children at the early ages will determine their confidence level in the later years. Parents who boost their children self-belief are providing them with the tools to be successful in the world.

Children self-confidence is based largely on the way they are treated by the people who are important to them. Parents who response to the needs of their children are building the foundation and trust that builds their self worth. Children will grow up knowing someone in the world really cares about them.

Children will encounter numerous of negative people who will try and take away their self- worth, but parents should continue to boost their children's confidence. Parents should continuously hub and kiss their children to reassure them how special they are. When children have problems at school or with peers, parents should be sensitive to their concerns, and try and give them a positive solution to their problem. Parents shouldn't always agree with their children, but they should always listen to their concerns

As children grow up parents need to continue to show the same loving and kindness throughout their early years. Children are very receptive of the way they are treated, and if parents stop showing love and concern for their children, it could have a negative affect on the confidence of that child. Children will go through many challenges and changes while growing up, but if they have the support and love of their parents the journey will be easier and they will have confidence to make the right decisions in life.

Sometimes parents have busy schedules and don't have time for their children. Those parents should realize that every missed opportunity with their children could negatively impact their development. Parents need to understand that their children need time with them to have fun and build a strong bond that can never be broken. This can only happen if parents spend quality time with their children. Children know when parent are only pretending to have fun with them, so don't fake time with children.

While watching children grow up parents should take time to observe what academic area seems to be important to them. If the child seems to love playing games with numbers, the parent might want to put the child into activities with math involved. Once the child begins to improve their math skill and have fun at the same time, confidence will improve. Children like to be good at something (so do adults). As the child develops interest in other academic areas the parents should horn in on those interest by putting them into activities that support that interest. The better they become in those areas the more confident they become.

Sometimes parents forget that children are people with opinions and concerns like other people. Children need to be respected just as if they were young adults. When children are giving their opinion about something the parent should listen attentively just as they were an adult. This gives the child the sense that you are truly concerned about what they are saying. This will make the child believe what he says is important and his parents really do care. Once again confidence is being built.

The words a parents utilizes when talking to their children are also very important. Parents should try to be encouraging and positive when talking with children, and never use put downs when addressing children. One of the quickest ways for children to lose their confidence is for them to be constantly put down. Parents should always try to uplift their children. Parents should try to frame their words to be more positive such as: He is hyper, another way to say it might be, he is curious. He sure is stupid or you might say, he sure has an interesting personality. These little technique could make a big difference in a child's life.

Parents should always take the lead when it comes to picking who their children's let into their circle of friendship. Peer pressure is so important that parents should get to know the children who play with their children and what kind of parents they have. Sometimes this may be unpopular with their children.

Another way to build children's confidence is to have them join a sports team, and if they develop to be a good athlete their confidence will automatically improve. Even if children don't develop into super stars, they will learn valuable lessons which will help them physically, mentally and most of all build confidence. All children enjoy being good at something, so if sports is their thing, parent need to be supportive.

Over-all, the parent who spends time with their children, play with them, show affection toward them, encourage them, put them in positive activities, listen to them and make them feel important, are working toward raising confident children who will excel at school. Parents who work at being a good parent will raise confident children.

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What Parents Can Do to Stop Bullying

Bullying statics show that almost every child will encounter some type of bullying. Unfortunately no child is immune to this behavior. Children of all ages and race are being affected. As parents we may not have the power to prevent this behavior but we do have the power to stop it. Here are our top ten actions that parents can take to help stop bullying.

How to Stop Bullying:

Daily Talks. Unfortunately with everyone's busy schedules not enough time is spent talking with children. Research shows that adults are often the last to know when children are bullied or bully others. It is important to make the time to talk with your child daily. This can be done by asking them questions about what they are doing in school, who they are hanging out with, who they have lunch with, etc. If your child feels comfortable talking to you they will hopefully open up if they are being bullied or harassed.

Get Involved. It has been proven that most bullying happens when adults are not present. Unfortunately you can't watch over your child during school but you can get involved in social or after school activities.

Lead by Example. Children learn a great deal from their parent's behavior. Your child closely monitors your behavior and often follows your example. Next time you get angry while driving, at a sales clerk, don't blow your top. You have a chance to show your children effective communication techniques without yelling.

Know the Signs. Children that are being bullied are often embarrassed or ashamed and therefore don't tell anyone, especially parents.

Therefore, it is essential for parents to know to recognize possible signs of being bullied. The signs of bullying include but are not limited to depression, frequent loss of personal belongings, avoiding recess or school activities, and getting to school very late or very early.

Teach Your Children. Habits form at a very early age in children. Parents can help develop anti-bullying habits early in your children. Coach your children on what to do and what not to do. Children should be taught not to be physical with other children that includes, hitting, pushing or being mean to others. They should also be taught what to do when other kids are mean. This includes, teaching them to tell an adult, say "no", ignore and walk away.

Bullying Programs. As a parent it is important to know what your child's school is doing to prevent bullying. Do they have a bullying program in place? Research shows that schools that have an anti bullying policy in place that educate students If your child's school does not have effective bullying strategies and policies in place, talk to the principal and advocate for change.

Establish Your Own Rules. Parents can't just rely on the school to teach their children that bullying is not accepted. Parents need to send a clear message to their children that bullying is not right, tolerated and there are consequences. They also need to teach their children exactly what bullying is and why its not tolerated.

Cyber bullying. Parents and children may not fully be aware of cyber bullying. Cyber bullying is one of the newest forms of bullying due to today's technology. Cyberbullying includes sending mean, harassing or threatening messages via the Internet, instant message or texting. Cyber bullying can be crueler than school bullying because the bullying can take place 24/7. It is again important to educate your child on what cyber bullying is and to let an adult know if they are being bullied.

Parents may not be able to prevent bullying but by following these guidelines they may be able to stop it.

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Parenting: Keep Your Kids Drug Free - Why And How

Ronald Reagan is one of my heroes. He not only had a good sense of humor but his wisdom was profound. He was one of the best leaders our country ever had. One saying that he had that I always remember was "trust but verify." That meant to believe what people tell you but always check it out to be sure.

There is little doubt to any impartial observer that parenting today has many more challenges than it did in the last generation with the Internet, drugs, sex all being exposed to kids even in grade school. As parents, especially when it comes to drugs, tough love or "trust but verify" is one way to go. Of course you want to believe your kids that they're not using drugs but, for their own good, you need to verify that they are not.

There's a lot at stake here. You cannot get a decent job without passing a drug test. Any job that has anything to do with children, for example teaching, requires a background check which almost always includes a test for drugs.

If a child has any aspirations of getting into the armed services for a career they need to be able to pass a drug test. Many insurance companies for life insurance, medical insurance or even car insurance require a drug test. Every doctor in the world wants to know if you've been using drugs.

There was even a situation recently where the federal government was considering making drug tests a prerequisite to getting unemployment insurance.

The fact of the matter is that being on drugs not only destroys your life from the inside out but it can destroy it from the outside too.

Doctors and hospitals use an FDA cleared test that can yield results in 5 minutes or less. It tests for marijuana, cocaine, black tar heroin, amphetamines and methamphetamines. It even tests for morphine and other opiates. It is used by corporations for pre-employment and corrections facilities to screen for drug use.

Major league baseball and professional football-even college-level athletics use this kind of test to determine the veracity of their players. No coach at any level wants their players on drugs.

As parents, part of your responsibility is to "trust but verify." Drug tests are the best way to do that. Do it for your kids; they may not see the big picture as you do.

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Do You Understand?

That YOU are AMAZING? That YOU are UNIQUE? That YOU are SPECIAL?

That YOU are WONDERFUL? That YOU are a Champion? That YOU are meant to do incredible things with your life?

Each and every one of you that are reading this article have vast, vast unlimited amounts of potential inside of you just waiting and wanting to emerge in and through your life!

Each of you is meant to do and achieve amazing things with your life. This is the reason why you are here on this planet, walking around, ALIVE. Deep inside of you, at your core, you know this to be True.

You are meant to spread your wings and soar to great heights of achievement, success and prosperity. Heights which you can imagine and heights beyond what you can imagine. This is a TRUTH! Most of us were never taught or told this truth in any meaningful and strategic manner while growing up (No fault by anyone).

The powerful knowledge of success principles and achievement strategies - how to set goals, how to focus our thinking, how to take correct action, how to strengthen our self-image and how to harness and unleash our unlimited potential - are not subjects we are taught in our schools and universities or our neighborhoods and communities.

It is time, time for each and every one of you, and time for our world to embrace our unlimited potential and allow it to emerge in our lives, in our families, in our communities and in our world!

I encourage each and everyone of you to search out the following success thinkers, leaders and visionaries - James Allen, W. Clement Stone, Russell Conwell, Wallace Wattles, Napoleon Hill, Norman Vincent Peal, Og Mandino, Jim Rohn, Bob Proctor, Esther and Jerry Hicks, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra and Denis Waitley - just to name a few.

Today, I encourage you to turn inward and explore your unlimited potential because the lasting change of success, achievement and prosperity you desire will never come from the outside in, it will only come from the inside and out. Out of you!

We are all taught and encouraged to love one another, to be kind to one another and to care for one another, but that is only half of the equation. I encourage you, as do the above mentioned great success thinkers and writers, to turn inward and begin to learn how to care for yourself, how to be kind to yourself, how to learn to love yourself, and how to unleash the vast unlimited potential and greatness which IS YOU!

Everything You need to create a successful, prosperous and happy life... and I emphasize EVERYTHING... already exists inside of You This is True for me, This is True for You, this is True for every human being.

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How to Raise Responsible Children

Parents who are serious about raising academically successful children should teach them how to be responsible for their action. Children who are responsible for their actions will be serious about their school work and all activities they are involved in. These responsibilities can only be developed if the parents get involved and make sure their children take responsibility seriously. The question is how do parents make sure they are doing what is necessary to develop responsibility in their child?

This is a topic that parent s may not understand how it can impact the academic future of their children, but any positive characteristic parents can develop will be helpful to their educational future. What is important to understand is that parents who develop positive attributes for their children at a young age will help their children reap tremendous benefits later in life? Children who learn how to be responsible for their actions will also be responsible for getting their homework and assignments completed in school.

Developing responsibilities can start as early as the three years old. Teaching children how to groom themselves is a good start to being responsible. Some of the basic such as brushing teeth, combing and brushing hair should be part of the grooming process. As children grow older parents should give young children chores like cleaning their room up, cleaning up after they eating a meal, picking toys off the floor and how to sweep their bedroom floor. Participating in these chores will give children a sense of belonging to the family and being helpful for the over-all cleanliness of the house. Young children feel proud to be helping parent with grown-up activities if this process starts at an early age.

Chores are important because children will have to think and make decisions on the best and quickest way to complete the chores. This kind of thought process can help children become organized and learn how to take their responsibilities seriously. As the children grow older the chores should increase and parents may want to start some kind of allowance for their children. If parents do decide to use allowances as part of the family commitment, parents should never use allowance as a bribe to get children to do chores around the house. Allowances could be something that is used to give students who complete chores, and are being successful in school. The whole idea is to get children to do a good job at whatever they are involved in, regardless if they get a allowances or not. Parents will have to make a family decision if they will be giving allowance to their children.

When children are in elementary school they can be taught to wash dishes, mop floors, clean-up room, etc. These children should also be given a responsibility of doing their homework each night, and studying for test, and required reading on a regular schedule. If the child has after school activities, it is up to the parent to make sure they get to that activity each time it meets. If children learn the value of doing what they are responsible for the child will grow up as a responsible person, which can go a long way in being successful in school. Parents should continue to spend a lot of time talking to children and encouraging them and rewarding them when they earn a good report card. Rewards can be from encouraging words to a couple of dollars for each A.

It is a fact that parents spend less time with their children than ever before, and this can have a big impact on how children develop to be responsible as well as other positive characteristic s. If parents aren't around to help develop children they can develop bad habits. Nothing can take the place of parent interaction with their children, but having an organized plan in place to work on character building can be helpful. Some basic things that can be done to keep children on target if parents aren't at home is to develop a schedule of responsibilities. Parents should also have some way to check on children by calling home at specific times. Children will be more likely to do chores and homework if they know their parents will be checking on them regularly. Children should be made to understand the error of their ways, and there are consequences to their actions. This is a recommendation for parents who don't have the time to be with children as much as needed, but we know that nothing can replace spending quality time with children.

Another method that can be important in developing responsibility is to get the children to volunteer some of their time to help others. Children can help other children by tutoring or help older seniors who may need children to run errors for them or do some kind of volunteer work at church. Children who take on some of these responsibilities are being taught how people are relying on them. This is a good way to get children to feel good about themselves and also feel they are contributing to society. This will go a long way in developing a well rounded young person.

Anyone who has ever asked any child to do anything knows about the inevitable complaints and battles that can follow. Children's complaints can be valid or just complaints. Whatever the situation, parents should listen to them. This will help children have a sense that what they have to say is valuable. If children are constant complainers, parents need to make sure this is stopped and only valid complaints will be addressed. After everything is said the parent will probably still make them do the chores that were asked of them, but the parent took the time to listen which is very important to children. If what they are complaining about makes sense, the parents need to make some kind of adjustment. This kind of parent/child understanding can develop a strong relationship.

As children grow into their teenage year they should be knowledgeable about how to do more chores around the house including: doing the laundry, washing dishes, cooking some items, vacuuming floors and cleaning up bedroom. In addition to the chores, the children should continue the understanding the importance of doing homework each night and keep their grades up. If these qualities have been developed the future for the teenager should be brighter. In addition to what is asked at home most teenagers will be trying to have some kind of social life. This is not a problem, but parents should keep teaching about responsibilities during this time also. If teenagers want to go out with friends some kind of guidelines should be agreed upon. Parents should still have some say so on who they hang out with, where they go, how long they stay out. Parents should be very strict on teenagers keeping good grades or no social activities should be allowed. This is good time for parents to talk to their teenagers about making good choices when they go out, especially when it come to drugs, alcohol, and sex. If parents have already developed a good relationship with their teenager they will give parents a blow by blow report on what happen when they go out. This can help parents to discuss positive ways to deal with some of the problems their children may have encountered. If parents don't talk with their children they will probably have a harder time with helping teenagers when problems do occur. Whatever situation, praying can help get though these important years.

If parents have been teaching their children how to be a responsible at a young age, than when they are confronting with a difficult decision the child will most likely make a responsible choice. This is why it is very important to try and have your children hang out with other children who are also taught to be responsible. Sometimes this is not possible, because children can go to school and meet someone the parents don't approve of. That is why it is so important to have children involved in as many positive activities as possible and mingle with families who have some of the same beliefs. Once children develop some responsible characteristics they will most likely make the right decisions when confronted with peer pressure.

The responsibility that parents are trying to developing is also based on having high expectations for their children. Parents should realize that if they expect a lot from their children they will get a lot from them in return, and if they expect a little out of their children they will get a little. Parents need to understand that children can handle most things they are given. In order to be sure children live up to those expectations, parents need to continuously to stroke them and have reasonable request for them. In other words don't put the bar so high their children cannot meet those exceptions.

In making sure children understand how important it is to build some of these characteristic, parents must demonstrate positive characteristics. Parents need to demonstrate what it is like to do work around the house, what it is like to keep appointments, or socialize in a mature manner. Children watch parents very closely, so parents must understand that they need to practice what they preach. If parents are serious about raising responsible children they should be willing to live their life like a microscope, and allow children to see it. If parents make some of the commitments in this article their children will have a good chance of growing up to be a responsible person in society.

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List of Values for Kids

A list of values helps parents focus on specific principles they would like to teach their children. Making a list of values for kids may feel overwhelming. Remember that teaching values is something that a child learns throughout his or her lifetime.

Below you will find suggestions to help you make a list of values. Take a look at the example list of values, along with the ideas on how to teach using your own list.

Making a list of Values for Kids

· Take a moment and think about someone you admire.

· As you think of this person, write down attributes you appreciate.

· Next to this list, write the values that are associated with the qualities you admire.

· Talk to friends, families, teachers, and religious leaders. Ask and note what values they try to live by.

· Think of principles or standards that are important to you. Write down those that you would like to instill in your own children.

First write down every idea that comes to you. Later you can edit the list to your top ten or fifteen values to keep it manageable.

Example List of Values for Kids

The following list of values for kids is an example of principles that you might include on your list. These values are not in any particular order.

· Honesty

· Integrity

· Kindness

· Empathy

· Thankfulness

· Curiosity

· Respect

· Imagination

· Hard work

· Perseverance

· Faith

· Friendship

Notice that imagination and curiosity are part of the list for values. Values are not only principles and standards. They are also what we consider important in our lives and would like to pass on to our children. Keep this in mind as you make your own list of values.

Teaching Values with a List

Values are taught by example in the home. Review the values on your list. As you talk with and listen to your child, moments to teach values will present themselves.

Use these moments to help your child know what you think is right in a particular situation. Assist them as they think of ways to put values into action in their everyday lives.

A lesson with the family, teaching a different value from your list each week or month, is an additional way to help your children understand and learn values.

Music can help teach values on your list. Find a song with words that illustrate one of the values on your list. Listen to it in the car or at home. As the child becomes familiar with it, you can begin teaching the words.

As you learn the words together you may ask questions like the following:

· What does this song talk about?

· What is it trying to help us understand?

· What is a situation where you could apply this value?

Keep in mind that learning and teaching values is a life long endeavor. Don't be discouraged; just be consistent. Live the values you want to teach. Expect and help your children to live them also.

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When Parents Can't Get Help

There is a scene in the Disney movie, "Beauty and the Beast," where Belle's father is desperately trying to save her. She's being held prisoner by the Beast, so her father begs people in town to help rescue her.

At first, the townspeople lead him on, letting him think they will help. But, in truth, they don't believe him. They call him a "crazy lunatic" and literally throw him out into the bitter cold. He lands on his face, scooping snow with his mouth, and wails in hopeless desperation, "Will no one help me?"

That scene describes my life for 18 months. My son was being held "prisoner" by ADHD. The problem was that people either did not believe the severity of the struggles I was describing, or thought they were a result of poor parenting.

We were both prisoners to overwhelming ignorance over ADHD.

Mark had classic - and highly frustrating - symptoms of ADHD. He was very hyper and always on the move. His was very distracted, rarely engaged in anything in school, and couldn't process verbal instructions if his life depended on it. All of these symptoms made parenting crazy-frustrating and maddening... beyond words! But the worst part, by far, were the mood swings.

Mark developed manic and debilitating mood swings, beginning consistently in kindergarten. There was no telling when they would hit. Any little thing could trigger a two-hour melt-down.

These meltdowns wreaked havoc for our family! It was impossible to get to school - or anywhere - on time. Many evenings - and vacations - were destroyed by Mark's outbursts.

And, forget homework! His reading teachers thought I was a horrible, lazy parent when I sent several assignments back with a note attached. "Mark had a massive melt-down last night. I couldn't get him to do his homework. I'm still trying to get medical help, but I'm on a three-month waiting list... "

The situation was made worse by the fact that Mark was a calm, quiet child in school. The "Mark" that his teachers and principal saw was very different than the Mark that could explode at home. I can't blame any of them for being perplexed over my descriptions of his behavior. To them, he seemed like an angel.

Mark IS an angel! He's a lovely soul who loves to please people. But, two things were very clear to my husband and me...

First, his behavior was *not* a ploy to get attention and manipulate us. That did not fit his personality and many of his melt-downs occurred during fun things he wanted to do. Why would he sabotage his own fun time on purpose?

Secondly, we believed he was experiencing some sort of chemical reaction within his body. The moods were incredibly manic, as if he was possessed. His eyes would go blank and he lost all capacity to be rational. It's hard to explain to others, but we knew our son had no capacity to control himself.

One day we took a 1.5-hour road trip to visit Mark's favorite people: Uncle Greg, Aunt Mandy, and "baby Katie." Katie was a brand-new newborn at the time and Mark was over-the-moon to be her big cousin!

But, those 90 minutes were the longest of my life! Mark was a crying, inconsolable, and moody mess. He wailed many times, "I wish I was never even born!" which is a horrible - and scary - thing to hear from your child. For a brief, 5-minute window, however, he did manage to laugh very heartily over a crane on the side of the road. It was very manic and very concerning!

When we finally reached the restaurant to meet my family, I sat next to my brother Greg, put my head on the table, and cried! I had been trying to get help for Mark for months. I was sent from doctor to doctor, waiting list to waiting list. Meanwhile, our concerns were either dismissed, or were thought to be caused by a "crazy, lunatic" mother.

Soon after that road trip, right in the midst of my desperate scramble to get medical help, I was also thrown out in the cold, just like Belle's father. I've written about this the infamous meeting with Mark's principal a few times.

In short, the principal was concerned that Mark's reading scores had not improved in six months and that Mark had missed a lot of school. He knew about our medical concerns and all of our appointments; I had CCed him on every email to teachers throughout the year. But, he hadn't seen any sign of Mark's distress at school.

Since the outbursts were only happening at home, he told me, it was a parenting problem. He reached across the table, wagged his finger in my face, and scolded me. "YOU are holding your son back. His MOTHER is holding him back!" He then concluded the meeting by threating to take us to court for "educational neglect," which is child abuse in the court system.

He challenged my integrity as a professional and as a parent. It was a bully move, abusing his position of authority. In my head, I knew that he was the problem, not me. But, it was still a very painful accusation. By the time I left his office, I was crying so hard, I was hyperventilating.

It wasn't just the principal's obnoxious behavior that pushed me over the edge. It was that I felt duped. I thought he was our "educational partner" and was expecting the meeting to be much more pro-active and team-oriented.

It was also the fact that I had been killing myself to get help for Mark; worrying myself sick, straining over all sorts of "rule-out "diets, and sacrificing sleep to work late at night, since my daytime hours were filled with his doctor appointments, medical tests, and child care during his frequent "sick days."

And, I was also upset over the fact that I was running out of options.

Mark had already been diagnosed with ADHD, but the delay was over how to treat him. His blood sugar levels indicated that we should consult with a pediatric endocrinologist, another three-month wait. The endocrinologist said we had better check in with a pediatric cardiologist, another two-month wait. When every day is hell, waiting 90 days, then being told you have to wait another 60 days, then another 90 days... is very difficult and disheartening.

We soon learned not to tell any doctors or educators about the mood swings. As soon as we did, the attention would turn towards us and the quality of our parenting.

My husband and I aren't perfect parents, by any means, but we are as prepared as any parents can possibly be! We have both been trained in "Love and Logic" and each have years of experience honing our behavior-management skills in the classroom. Nonetheless, I'm here to tell you... logic does not prevail in a child with special needs!

Starting Treatment

So, instead of talking about the mood swings, we only discussed the more "appropriate" symptoms of ADHD. When we finally got the green light to begin treatment, we had already spent months trying various diets, ruling out food allergies and all of the other things that some people believe cause ADHD. We had tried everything and now, we were hoping medication would help.

Medication did help! But, it took several months of testing before we found the right medication and dosage. We agreed that medication would not be tolerated if it turned Mark into a drone; we would only support medication if it allowed Mark to be more, "Mark." When we finally found the right treatment, angels hovered over our house and sang a glorious chorus!

We noticed stark improvements overnight. But, within only a few weeks the mood swings were reduced by 80%. We also worked with a counselor and within a couple of months, the mood swings were gone altogether. We had our Mark back!

Mark still had struggles with dyslexia, but he was excelling in his new school! (We pulled him from the previous school, immediately following the threat of child abuse charges.) He was now more cooperative over making healthy food choices and happy to get involved in sports and other healthy, physical activities.

I've since learned that his mood swings were caused by serious anxiety. The anxiety was fueled by two factors. First, he was on sensory overload in his previous school; too many bodies, too much noise, and too much commotion for him to effectively cope. Second, I eventually discovered he had been treated poorly by two teachers and the principal. Just days before the infamous meeting, I witnessed an incident while volunteering for Mark's class.

Anxiety, it turns out, is a "kissing cousin" of ADHD; the biology of ADHD and anxiety are nearly identical. I never realized how debilitating anxiety can be, but it explains why Mark was not having outbursts at school; he was riddled with fear! At home, where he was more comfortable, fear did not suppress his anxiety. Without fear to "cork" it, the cycle of anxiety spun through his brain like thread in a sewing machine on full throttle!

It has now been 14 months since Mark's treatment took hold and I'm happy to report that he's a happy eight year-old, thriving in school, and thrilled that we are able to help other children benefit from the challenges he experienced.

I could not be more happy for him, but one question has haunted me since we encountered our first road-block, two-and-a-half years ago...

If This Is Happening to Us, What Do Other Parents Do?

We had every resource at our disposal. I am a professional educator on a national platform. My husband is a nationally board-certified teacher and was a highly respected teacher in the same school district as my son. In fact, he won a teaching award from our county two nights after the principal's attack.

My mother is a physician who consistently supported our concerns, encouraged me to keep fighting, and assured me that I wasn't crazy. With my husband's health benefits, we had unlimited access to healthcare. In theory, we had everything we needed to push forward. Yet, we were met with unimaginable roadblocks on the path towards healing.

Over and over again, I would say to my husband, "I am using every ounce of my professional energy to help Mark. Every step of the way, I've had a 'plan B.' If something doesn't work, I'm on to the next thing. I don't know when we'll find an answer, but I know how to keep fighting. What do parents do who don't have our training or our resources?" I still shudder to think about it.

Throughout the whole ordeal, I had this great sense that I was supposed to be learning from it. It was like I had two personalities; one was the worried, anxious, sleep-less mom. The other was the quiet observer, soaking up every morsel of information and every emotion, knowing that God was testing me for a reason.

It is hard to describe how both personalities could co-exist in my heart; that I could experience such intense pain (picture Belle's father, lying face down, in the cold snow), yet have such a strong conviction that it was all happening for a good reason.

I've already seen our trials come to a positive fruition in at least a dozen close friends and family who have directly benefited from lessons we learned. Just this morning, a friend sent a Facebook message, asking for information to help her ADHD son. It's becoming a daily occurrence, just within my personal network.

Last week, ADDitude Magazine invited me to sit on their Expert Panel and host a webchat about school-related ADHD issues. Over 200 questions came in so fast and furious, that I couldn't possibly read them all during the one-hour webinar. I finally read through all of them this weekend, while riding in the car with my family.

After reading only a few dozen questions, I put my head back in angst for these parents and vented to my husband, "These questions are just heart-breaking; there is so much pain here! So many people don't understand ADHD and are fighting the stigma, children are accused of being lazy, parents aren't able to get help and think they are crazy... this is just awful!"

Suddenly, Mark piped in from the backseat, "Yeah, but Mom, you did such a good job of getting me through all of this terrible stuff; you can help them, too!" Wow! There is nothing like an endorsement from your child, especially after walking through the storms we've shared together. He knows this has been my goal, all along. But, I sure do love how he tries to cheer his mama up!

Moving Forward

Tomorrow, I'm flying off to San Francisco for the largest ADHD conference of the year, hosted by CHADD. I'm bringing along information on the ADHD Circuit, a model I developed to help people better understand ADHD. I'm hoping I can find a way to get it into people's hands.

Dozens of people have already told me that this model has "changed their life" and "finally" helped them understand ADHD. It is 100% scientifically accurate. The question is, will people who've dedicated decades of their life to researching and understanding ADHD be willing to embrace this viewpoint?

I'm about to find out! I'm not speaking, since the call for speakers closed months ago, long before I had gathered enough research or tested my model thoroughly. I am not buying a booth since I am not planning to sell anything. So, I will quietly talk to people and see what happens. Wish me luck... for the sake of all the children and adults who are fighting this seriously misunderstood condition. ADHD can be a great asset, once people understand it and learn how to harness it.

Parental Alienation: Who's Best Interest?   What to Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied   November Is National Adoption Awareness Month   

Eyes Half Shut

Out of the darkness of a deep sleep and a 4th floor condo, which overlooked the beaches of a West Palm Florida, my oldest son, age 12, and I walked down the bright lit hallway with our eyes half shut.

Early as it was, it was the last morning of a wonderful vacation and we were determined to watch a spectacular sunrise. We made our way through the resort, out the backside of the pool area, and down a 50 yard boardwalk to the beach.

We picked out two beach chairs, laid out our towels and settled into the darkness staring out at the Atlantic Ocean - our eyes half shut. We were two of a handful of early risers, out to witness the beginning of a new day. There were no bad seats at this event!

The sky began to change from black to various shades of reds, pinks, oranges and then blues. The rhythm of the ocean waves rocked us into nature's majestic rhythmic beauty. The birds above sang a beautiful melody.

As the sun began to slowly lift itself above the horizon, I said to my son "Look, you can see the sun beginning to rise." He quickly said back to me "Yes I see it Dad, but the sun is not rising. The sun is stationary; it is the earth rotating which makes it look as if the sun is rising."

A TRUTH!

One of the goals of my writing has not only been to educate, but also meant to inspire growth. To grow as an individual requires us to change, and as I have learned through my life and my work (both joyfully & painfully), this is where the true challenge lies for all of us. This challenge disappears though, if we are clearly able to see and embrace, Truth.

For us to grow as parents, we must see Truth. For us to grow as a family, we must see Truth. For us to grow as students, we must see Truth. For us to grow as teachers, we must see Truth. For us to grow as a community, we must see Truth. For us to grow as a world, we must see Truth. For us to grow as a person, we must see Truth.

We ALL are living during the most dynamically changing transformational time in history. For us to grow we are going to have to change. To change we must take a close look at the paradigms (our understandings, our mind-sets, our beliefs) that we hold - some near and dear to us.

Some of what we have understood, our paradigms, may be wrong. Consider aspects of the world we have created. Other paradigms we hold may not necessarily be wrong, just incomplete. It is time to create, to expand, to explore and to embrace new paradigms. New paradigms and new understandings that will serve us, our families, our schools, our communities and the world, better.

Some will receive this as a "breath of fresh air", others as "hot air" or an uncomfortable agitation - depending on YOUR VIEWPOINT.

Yes, the earth spins on it's axis at over 1,000 mph, hurtling through space at over 67,000 mph, with us stuck to it by a gravity type super glue! For things are not always as they seem. Our logic would tell us that we should go flying off this big rock called earth, but we do not. This gives us a so called "sunrise" every 24 hours, the beginning of a new day. Each of us at any moment, can CHOOSE to "open our eyes, heart and mind and begin a New Day!" Shifting and/or expanding our paradigms, beliefs and our lives in a new direction for ourselves, our families, our community and the world.

Parental Alienation: Who's Best Interest?   What to Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied   November Is National Adoption Awareness Month   

It Takes Creativity To Be Smart

The ultimate goal of education is to be able to solve problems in the real world. For many young children this has meant entering the empirical world of hard core academic training at a very young age. Parents who fear their children will not be able to compete unless they learn reading and arithmetic early in life, are pushing their children into academics when they are very young. These parents believe that their children will fall behind in elementary school if they are not exposed to "drill and test" programs in their preschools.

The problem with this line of thought is that it is just plain wrong. Children who are forced to memorize rather than rationalize will be able to play back the information they received but will not be able to do anything creative with that information. Very young children are naturally curious and open to exploring the possibilities around them. If we fill them up with facts instead of encouraging creative exploration they will lose the ability to be creative with the facts we have given them. In other words it takes creativity to perform any kind of problem solving whether it is a math problem or a science problem.

Yet when we look at the preschool and elementary school world today we find fewer outlets for creativity and more "teach to test". We find less recess time, no art class, no music and no drama. For all the emphasis on teaching "the basics", I believe that academics are important, but studies show that this early emphasis on only hard core academics can result in poor academic performance when these children reach middle and high school. There are no studies that validate this push for early academics while there are studies that show the opposite.

If you want your child to be smart, you need your child to be creative. At these very young ages what your child needs is brain development activities not memorization. Young children need to learn how to recognize symbols and what those symbols stand for, to recognize the shapes of letters and numbers. Most importantly they need to understand that those letters and numbers are just symbols not reality. If they understand this their brains will be more open to thinking in abstract as well as factual reality.

As I said before it takes creativity to solve problems. It takes creativity to be comfortable facing a new problem and knowing how to approach solving it. If I know that 2 plus 2 =4 but I don't know how to imagine having 2 sticks and then picking up 2 more so I have 4 sticks, then it will be difficult for me to solve a "story problem" in my algebra class. The child needs to know the world is not black and white though the colors black and white do exist in the world. The child needs to know it is OK to take a risk and go outside the box intellectually, to solve a math problem by drawing on something learned while drawing or playing music. A creative child will sense the 'math' in art and music. A child who only knows that 2 plus 2 equals 4 will be able to work at McDonalds restaurant, but not at McDonalds.

Parental Alienation: Who's Best Interest?   What to Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied   November Is National Adoption Awareness Month   

Why 90% of Content Pages Will Never Rank, Page 1 of Google Search

Each, and everyday - millions of "so called" SEO pages (usually articles, or content pages) are generated, all in hopes of landing on the first page, first listing of Google search. It is not unusual for a good content page to hold position 1, and become somewhat fixated, for several days, months, weeks, or even years.

This article is not about those types of pages. It does not concern those pages that use real writers who make use of proper on-page search engine optimization. It does not concern the Authors who write good high quality content, and know how to make researched, well-selected, natural keyword choices.

This article is about those who think they can "game" or "beat" the system. Google knows that for years now, millions and millions of people have resorted to hiring so-called "content writers" from third world countries. (Whose second language is English?)

Or worse yet; when want-to-be writers (whose first language is English) take high quality articles, (often up to 10 of them) and try to dismember them, and rewrite them (word by word, or sentence by sentence, or even paragraph by paragraph) They will often try to avoid plagiarism by borrowing information (a little bit here, a little bit there) to combine it into what they believe is their own "unique" content.

Most will agree the "content is 100%." It is 100% plagiarized, unreadable gibberish, not even worthy of the space it takes up on a hard drive, or folder document. How long will it take the content mongers to understand... if you pay - 2 cents a word - or even 6 cents a word, and fully expect: unique, read-worthy, mind stimulating, top-level content from your "professional" writer, they should not be dismayed when they wind up always "getting" - 2 cents a word copy, or 6 cents a word copy. (This is actually stolen, worthless garbage.)

Take a good look at the pages Google loves to rank on the first page of the (Search engine results pages.) Do you think any of those sold for 2-6 cents a word? You may occasionally find an article that ranks on the first page (even in first place) of the much-coveted Google search, which sold for 10 cents per word, but those are few and far between.

The people who understand that "you get what you pay for" do not mind paying 10, 20, or even $1.00 per word. (In some high competition areas) These same people have sometimes paid upwards of $85 to $500.00 per single word (or keyword phrase) for their Google Ad-words campaigns, so for them to pay a good writer 60 cents to $1.50 per word is no problem to them. They actually make money from the copy, because you do get what you pay for.

If an article does not contain unique, well thought out content, which actually adds to the knowledge and understanding of the main topic it covers; it is eventually going to find its way to the back of the line.

Is it possible for me to underscore the keyword "relevance" enough? When you buy cheap, rehashed, and most often plagiarized content, which contains absolutely zero value to the reader, then you should expect it to "rank" in the "lost in cyberspace" zone. Now, go and lick your wounds, before they get infected.

Excellent Article Writing Tips For Beginners   How to Make a Living As an Online Author   Top Ten Secret Article Marketing Tips   Top Ten Secret Article Marketing Tips   

Why Article Marketing Is So Powerful for Traffic Building

If you have read many of my articles before, you will know that I am a huge fan of article marketing. I believe that marketing articles is the best way to promote products on the internet. You really can't find any other traffic source that is so high quality. Articles are great for many reasons. Here are just a few:

Articles teach people about topics they are interested in. If someone wants to learn something, they go to Google and type in a keyword. They then find your article about the topic they were interested in. If they like what they read, they will most likely learn more about you and the products you promote. I just love it when I get an email from someone who joined my mailing list through one of my articles. These people are eager to learn, and are much more likely to implement the marketing techniques I teach and get results from doing so.

Article marketing spreads virally. The internet is a big place. If you are writing articles often, you will be establishing yourself as an expert in your niche. And if you decide to become a full-time writer, people will most likely find your articles more than once. This will tell them who the leader is in your niche. Wouldn't you just love to know that your articles are being read by thousands of people from all over the world? This kind of leverage is powerful. If you're building a mailing list, you can increase your sales conversions just by writing articles.

People who read an article are in a better state of mind. When someone reads your article, they get a general idea of what you can teach them. If someone clicks an ad they see on Google, they are most likely just curios. But if they read your article, it is because they need help. If they like your article, do you think they will do business with you? Well, that depends. Are your articles informative? Do they offer value and insight? These things are important if you ever hope to succeed with article marketing.

I will never stop writing articles because I know that they are responsible for my success online. I'm involved in many different topics online, and if I never took that first step of writing my first article, I wouldn't be where I am today. I am so grateful for the traffic articles bring me.

Excellent Article Writing Tips For Beginners   How to Make a Living As an Online Author   Top Ten Secret Article Marketing Tips   Top Ten Secret Article Marketing Tips   

Writing Website Content Articles to Improve Sales

As globalization in the world is increasing and the use of internet is becoming vast, writing web contents has become much common. Those people who have made their websites need content for the promotion of their product and services. It must be said that writing web site content has turned out to be another way to earn money.

The reason why writing web contents has become popular is the fact that it is termed to be an effective way for the promotion of a website. However, writing website content articles is not everyone's cup of tea. If you want to work as a writer producing content for web sites, then you will have to prove that you are expert in the field and you are well familiar with all the tiers of writing quality articles. There are a number of web masters and publishers that use different websites for locating fresh content.

If you want to promote yourself as a writer, then you can do that through many platforms available. You can make an account at any of the writing websites and post articles on different topics there. Other than this, you can even start a blog where you can write informative stuff and let people hear your views and learn that you also exist.

Writing website content articles can make you earn a lot of money. Many people these days are doing that job. However, producing quality content and following the guidelines of writing articles should be properly followed. You can get popular through your own writer's account or blog. If people like your content, then there are chances that a company or a website might hire you as its website content producer. When you get a deal of writing website content articles then it is very important that you do the job right and make it impressive and informative enough to attract customers. If the owners like your work then they will contact you later for writing more content. The content at a website needs to be updated from time after time. Therefore, you will have this opportunity with you that the company owner will contact you for producing further content.

If the website content articles are good then they will help in generating a considerable flow of traffic towards a website and this will increase the chances for the website to make sales. Sometimes, because of poor content, a website is not able to attract customers. If the content is not unique, it has grammatical errors and it does not have anything new or impressive, then people will never stay. They will look for alternatives. Too much technical jargon can also confuse the visitor's and they prefer to switch. Therefore, it is important that you keep the language simple yet the material informative and impressive for the readers. If you follow the right writing instructions then this thing can do a world of good for you.

Excellent Article Writing Tips For Beginners   How to Make a Living As an Online Author   Top Ten Secret Article Marketing Tips   Top Ten Secret Article Marketing Tips